Mind be going places
I know that you don’t trust me anymore
I know that I’m toxic to your mental health right now
I know how much of a disappointment I am to you
I have been going back and forth in my mind
Thinking of what you think of me if it’s the case anymore
How much you hate me
How much I disgust you
And all I did think of,
I deserve every bit of it
I deserve your silence
I deserve your hatred
The sad part is, I can’t stop thinking about you
I said it
Sometimes, I act
Lying to myself that I will get over you
Like I did in past
I have loved and lost
But something tells me that this is different
This is something you don’t just get over
This was real
As realest they ever be
This was meant to last forever
And there I blew it
I destroyed it
I destroyed God’s masterpiece
Will I ever forgive myself!
Is it even an option
How could I
After everything we went through together
On and on and on…
My mind can really go places
But it is right
That I agree
How I wish to know what I want
Expect a time machine of course
What do I want!
A question I would give everything to know the answer to
I mean, ain’t I supposed to know the answer
Ain’t I a grown-up man!
But even if I know the answer
Will she ever ask me what I want
Will I at least ever get to see her again!
Sometimes I think of us together again
Another version of course 2.0
But is it conceivable
I mean when trust is gone
Is gone. Periodt
I have seen people struggling on giving it another chance
And I wouldn’t wish it to anyone
So full of insecurities on every side
It is a living hell
On another side
Will I ever move on!
I have to admit, she is not someone you easily get over
She is everything I could ever wish for in a woman
She is made by the hand of God himself
How about our love, what we had!!!!
Is it even possible to ever get a portion of it!
What do I really want?
Do I want her back
Of course, I do
What a silly question
Will she ever trust me again!
I mean miracles happen every day
Her, talking to me was a miracle itself
We don’t play in the same league
But first thing first
How do I talk to her
How do I get her to pick up my calls!!!
And if them picked, where will I start
What do I tell her
How about Heey and figure out the rest afterward
Sounds like a plan