Mind be going places

I know that you don’t trust me anymore

I know that I’m toxic to your mental health right now

I know how much of a disappointment I am to you

I have been going back and forth in my mind

Thinking of what you think of me if it’s the case anymore

How much you hate me

How much I disgust you

And all I did think of,

I deserve every bit of it

I deserve your silence

I deserve your hatred

The sad part is, I can’t stop thinking about you

There

I said it

Sometimes, I act

Lying to myself that I will get over you

Like I did in past

I have loved and lost

But something tells me that this is different

This is something you don’t just get over

This was real

As realest they ever be

This was meant to last forever

And there I blew it

I destroyed it

I destroyed God’s masterpiece

Will I ever forgive myself!

Is it even an option

How could I

After everything we went through together

On and on and on…

My mind can really go places

But it is right

That I agree

How I wish to know what I want

Expect a time machine of course

What do I want!

A question I would give everything to know the answer to

I mean, ain’t I supposed to know the answer

Ain’t I a grown-up man!

But even if I know the answer

Will she ever ask me what I want

Will I at least ever get to see her again!

Sometimes I think of us together again

Another version of course 2.0

But is it conceivable

I mean when trust is gone

Is gone. Periodt

I have seen people struggling on giving it another chance

And I wouldn’t wish it to anyone

So full of insecurities on every side

It is a living hell

On another side

Will I ever move on!

I have to admit, she is not someone you easily get over

She is everything I could ever wish for in a woman

She is made by the hand of God himself

How about our love, what we had!!!!

Is it even possible to ever get a portion of it!

What do I really want?

Do I want her back

Of course, I do

What a silly question

Will she ever trust me again!

I mean miracles happen every day

Why not

After all

Her, talking to me was a miracle itself

We don’t play in the same league

But first thing first

How do I talk to her

How do I get her to pick up my calls!!!

And if them picked, where will I start

What do I tell her

How about Heey and figure out the rest afterward

Sounds like a plan

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